I decided I needed to take my pants off. It improved my disposition greatly.

I’m just a regular woman, living in Michigan, 22 years old, 2 cats, there’s nothing extraordinary or fantastic about me, so I assume that my thoughts can’t be too exciting to anyone other than myself. But that’s quite all right, because this blog is first and foremost, for myself and nobody else. This will hold the chronicles of my boring life as I try to change myself for the better, I’m hoping to write every day, or every other day at least, but we’ll just have to see.

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Location: Grand Blanc, Michigan, United States

Thursday, January 26, 2006

On Life and Sleep.

Life is a study of doing things you don’t want to, because you have to. Every single human being on the face of this planet has woken up at least once, (although my guess is it always happens far more than just once) and thought “oh god, I don’t want to get up and go to school/work/church/other random obligation”. In the end, I suppose that’s what makes it “life” and not Disneyland or something. Regardless of how much you like your job, or your life, you’re always doing things you don’t want to do.

The “Oh god I don’t want to get up” scenario happens a lot more with those of us who suffer from depression. It’s noteworthy that some of the many symptoms of depression have to do with sleep. Insomnia, difficulties falling asleep or waking up, oversleeping, and vivid dreaming are all things someone with depression can experience. So understandably, after a good night’s sleep, especially one with vivid pleasant dreams (although I’ve read that most bi-polar people suffer from nightmares, I never do, my dreams are usually weird, but never frightening or disturbing.) one would not want to wake up and face the day. Plus fatigue and low-energy are also symptoms of depression, making it a vicious cycle. It’s hard to get to sleep, and then even if you do sleep well, you wake up feeling as if you haven’t. I usually find that it takes me over an hour to fully “wake up” and I’ll usually just try to go back to sleep, regardless of how much sleep I’ve already gotten.

Of course, sleep disorders are only one of the many things a person with bi-polar or depression can and will experience, and my little rant isn’t really relevant to anything. Sometimes I just want to write what’s in my head, regardless of the relevance or meaning to any of it.

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