I decided I needed to take my pants off. It improved my disposition greatly.

I’m just a regular woman, living in Michigan, 22 years old, 2 cats, there’s nothing extraordinary or fantastic about me, so I assume that my thoughts can’t be too exciting to anyone other than myself. But that’s quite all right, because this blog is first and foremost, for myself and nobody else. This will hold the chronicles of my boring life as I try to change myself for the better, I’m hoping to write every day, or every other day at least, but we’ll just have to see.

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Location: Grand Blanc, Michigan, United States

Wednesday, February 01, 2006

Things can always get worse.

After three years of waiting, my social security and disability case finally came to a close. And of course, because I have the worst luck of any living human being on this planet, I was completely denied.

So there’s no money, no PC, no nothing, just 3 years of waiting wasted for nothing. My case was rejected on the assumption that Dr. Singhal lied about the extent of my disabilities. I’ve only been living with bi-polar disorder for the past 8 years of my life, and the courts just threw it away. 8 years of suffering, 3 years of hoping and waiting, all for nothing. This was the worst thing possible that could happen to me. I cried, I told everyone, and now there’s nothing else I can do.

My depression has been worse in the past month or so, I gained over five pounds, but I managed to slowly drop it off. I’m down to 222 again, but I can’t see it getting any easier to maintain and lose. Nothing is making me happy. I don’t want to play video games, I don’t want to read, and I don’t do laundry or do the dishes. The only thing that has really been giving me any joy lately is taking baths, and I can’t do that every day because it can cause urinary tract infection. I don’t have medical insurance and can’t afford to go to the doctor, so I can’t do anything…I’m getting tired of this.

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