I decided I needed to take my pants off. It improved my disposition greatly.

I’m just a regular woman, living in Michigan, 22 years old, 2 cats, there’s nothing extraordinary or fantastic about me, so I assume that my thoughts can’t be too exciting to anyone other than myself. But that’s quite all right, because this blog is first and foremost, for myself and nobody else. This will hold the chronicles of my boring life as I try to change myself for the better, I’m hoping to write every day, or every other day at least, but we’ll just have to see.

My Photo
Location: Grand Blanc, Michigan, United States

Friday, March 10, 2006

Another rough day.

I woke up today (yesterday, March 9th) in an absolutely crap mood. At noon my eyes opened, and I sighed, and forced myself back to sleep. I woke up 3 hours later, feeling like crap, still. Apparently those 3 hours of sleep did nothing for my mood. Fuck it.

I was irritated, you see, because last night before I went to bed, after maintaining my diet rather well, I ended up eating two handfuls of haribo raspberries, a handful of Twizzlers Tweeterz, some peanut butter, and some pastrami. It made me feel bad, and it stuck with me.

Though I’ve been down for most of the day, I managed to get over it. I tried walking faster on my treadmill, but 3.0mph is just far too much, I tried it for ¼ of a mile, and it hurt my back, and was very unpleasant. I tried to continue my walk at 2.7mph, but there was just no way. I ended up walking another ¼ and giving up, bitching and moaning about it.

I’ve still been adding up my calories and whatnot, in fact I found an automated service online to help me out, and it’s doing really well. I’ve eaten around 1800 calories today, and I think with one more meal, I can manage to do 2200 or less today, as long as I don’t sabotage myself again before I go to bed. My mom suggested to take my medication and THEN eat, so that twinge of hunger that sets in won’t have an effect on me.  Even though “they” say that eating before you go to bed is bad for you, as long as I’m eating 2200 calories or less a day I don’t think that WHEN I eat it will be a factor.

But this is frustrating. I’ve eaten A LOT today, yet I’m still hungry. I think I’m going to take my meds and eat a can of soup.

I’m going through some mood swings too. I’ve gone from a 2 to a 5 to a 6 to a 2 again on the scale of 1 being the most depressed you’ve ever been, and 10 being the most manic you’ve ever been. When my belly growled I almost started crying And I’ve drank 5 bottles of water today, that bullshit about water suppressing your appetite is ridiculous.


Post a Comment

<< Home